Dooney da Priest's Fight Against Sagging Pants Won't Work

Similarly, a four-minute piece of bad Christian crunk might convince some second-grader, but on the whole Dooney's song is the David battling the Goliath of modern hip-hop's blingy boasts, courtesy of folks such as Dr. Dre ("So give me body like Latifah and I might beat cha/With my beanie on I look just like the grim reaper/Pony tail, saggy pants, bulletproof vest/Like an alien, Dre Dog is coming through your chest"; Dem Franchise Boyz ("Yea I'm super clean rock jeans wit a white tee"); and Jim Jones ("I hop'd out saggy jeans and my rock glistenin'"). Compared with the glamorized juxtaposition of prison jeans and a big ol' diamond, the exhortation "don't be lame" is a whisper in the wind. If it's heard at all, in fact, it will resemble a hand-wringing, beseeching milquetoast plea. Think about it: Hip-hop is rife with violent images worthy of a Halloween flick—"Raise your game" just isn't gonna cut it. This time, Goliath wins.

If this whole misguided campaign is any indication of the perspective of the powers that be, nothing's going to cut it. If anyone cared to ask the question Why do young people want to dress this way?, we might have a start to the long journey of getting them to wear a freakin' belt. Like any visible manifestation of some very dark, very tough issues, the whole pants thing is merely a surface symbol of deep-rooted problems. And, as such, getting people to pull up their drawers would only be a surface fix. Exterior blight always indicates a troubled core, so let's just say no to simplistic solutions.