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The Three Wise Men, "Thanks For Christmas." This is actually the great XTC, under a pseudonym. Sugary pop fun.

Any of the Vince Guaraldi tunes from A Charlie Brown Christmas. I can listen to that all month long and love it. For me, it's all about childhood nostalgia.

Another fantastic one is "Father Christmas" by The Kinks. "Give all the toys to the little rich boys." What a great "fuck-the-wealthy" anthem!

Some of the REALLY bad ones, I can't help but enjoy them as well. When I was a kid, I had the 45 single of Band Aid "Do They Know It's Christmas?" which I still enjoy on a campy level, but I always thought it was creepy when Bono sings "tonight thank God it's them instead of you." What a dick.

Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" is so bad, and yet I'll always listen. Same with "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses. It's an embarrassment on virtually every level and yet irresistible. Bowie and Bing doing "Little Drummer Boy" is a hoot as well.

I always liked the one where Tom Petty asks for a new Rickenbacker guitar and two Fender Bassmans at the end—can't remember the name of the tune [It's "Christmas All Over Again"], but that part always sticks in my head. Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" is hilarious, 'cause he sounds so damn serious. You better not pout, and the Boss will tell you why.

If I never again hear "Feliz Navidad," "Jingle Bell Rock" or "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," my life would improve. Those songs make me wanna kick Santa in the balls.

Oh, and have you ever heard John Denver's "Daddy Please Don't Get Drunk For Christmas"? 'Nuff said.

Tim Alexander of Asleep at the Wheel and Reverend Organdrum

1. Favorite Xmas song is "Daddy's Drinkin' Up Our Christmas" by Commander Cody.

2. The irreverence and the humor of the Commander.

3. Least favorite is "Christmas Time is Here" by Alvin and the Chipmunks. The novelty has worn off for me.

Scott Porter of Record Hop, Spitfire Tumbleweeds and TXMF Records

1. As a suburban wastoid, I love empty Christmas bullshit: The lights, the colors, the weirdness of the new super-commercial season where there are months of strange animatronic elves and fat men and smiling woodland creatures plastered to every surface and giant flashing trees on every corner. I especially love the music. You will not hear me bitching about the classics and their inevitable two months of constant rotation from every speaker everywhere. I have to go with "Sleigh Ride." I started playing the French horn in sixth grade, and that song was in the program for every Christmas concert until I was a senior. It just sounds like December to me, which is, of course, the finest of all months, especially if you were an acid-addled mall rat. Wait—I think I might wanna go with Mannheim Steamroller.

2. Not scoring with band chicks from sixth grade through senior year.

3. Nah, it ain't like that. Me and Christmas music? We cool.

Write Your Comment show comments (7)
  1. "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders is a great X-Mas song. David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Little Drummer Boy" was pretty neat.

  2. "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders is a great X-Mas song. David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Little Drummer Boy" was pretty neat.

  3. should have asked Reverend Heat about 'Christmas in the Congo' a song he recorded with Teddy and the Talltops here in Dallas in 1983...he'd probably like to forget it.

  4. ChrisU, I haven't heard that song. Any idea where I might find it?
    While I'm at it, does anyone have any guesses about the "worst Christmas song" that the Rev was referring to?

  5. I have a copy of 'christmas in the congo/christmas party' on 45.unfortunately my technical skills are still of the vinyl era, maybe I can get a friend to put it in another format for you. The Rev says the song he regards as the worst made money so I don't think it was that one. Ted Roddy's Talltops had various lineups that not only included the Rev but also local favorites Homer Henderson(Phil Bennison),Mark Pollock and Donny Ray Ford.

  6. Here are some responses I got after I'd already turned in the story. Sorry this is a bit late.... Anyone else who's interested, feel free to add yours.

    More from Chris Holt
    Last night I was driving home and I heard “Christmas Curtain” by My Morning Jacket...great melody! I think it’s about stealing gifts for Xmas and being poor, kinda like the Kinks tune I mentioned. Jim James’ voice is absolute perfection on that tune.
    Finally, I remember an old, little-known ditty by an even lesser-known band known as The Rectal Thermometers, who recorded a classic called “The Christmas Dragon” years ago. It’s virtually impossible to find, and it may be the single most offensive holiday song ever recorded, but hey, it’s in the spirit of the season, and I can’t help but want to mention it. I’m not sure I’d go so far as to recommend it, but its existence is something to chuckle about :)

    Aaron Bartz, Tame … Tame and Quiet
    1. I’ll have to stick with the theme and say “Christmas Time Is Here” by Vince Guaraldi. Besides that it’s just a beautiful song, I like that it’s the most depressing Christmas song I can think of. The music and melodies are all melancholy, but the lyrics are bright and shiny. It’s a weird dichotomy and I love that about it. I think the holidays bring that dichotomy out in a lot of people.
    2. I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year, so it’s more of a repetitive memory, where every time I hear the song, it reminds me of all the Christmases that have passed, and how much has changed.
    3. “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” It sounds like something they’d sing on Hee Haw or the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Not that Christmas songs have to be serious or anything, but geez.

  7. Here are some responses I got after I'd already turned in the story. Sorry this is a bit late.... Anyone else who's interested, feel free to add yours.

    More from Chris Holt
    Last night I was driving home and I heard “Christmas Curtain” by My Morning Jacket...great melody! I think it’s about stealing gifts for Xmas and being poor, kinda like the Kinks tune I mentioned. Jim James’ voice is absolute perfection on that tune.
    Finally, I remember an old, little-known ditty by an even lesser-known band known as The Rectal Thermometers, who recorded a classic called “The Christmas Dragon” years ago. It’s virtually impossible to find, and it may be the single most offensive holiday song ever recorded, but hey, it’s in the spirit of the season, and I can’t help but want to mention it. I’m not sure I’d go so far as to recommend it, but its existence is something to chuckle about :)

    Aaron Bartz, Tame … Tame and Quiet
    1. I’ll have to stick with the theme and say “Christmas Time Is Here” by Vince Guaraldi. Besides that it’s just a beautiful song, I like that it’s the most depressing Christmas song I can think of. The music and melodies are all melancholy, but the lyrics are bright and shiny. It’s a weird dichotomy and I love that about it. I think the holidays bring that dichotomy out in a lot of people.
    2. I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special every year, so it’s more of a repetitive memory, where every time I hear the song, it reminds me of all the Christmases that have passed, and how much has changed.
    3. “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” It sounds like something they’d sing on Hee Haw or the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Not that Christmas songs have to be serious or anything, but geez.

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