Big D Barbarian

It is a magic formula that could only have happened in the early '80s. The future Governator, a coked-up, pre-Scarface Oliver Stone and John Milius (Apocalypse Now) got together to create the most ridiculously magical, oiled-up sword-and-sandal epic that ever graced the silver screen. Conan the Barbarian made 1982 "The Year of Schwarzenegger." This former iron-pumping Austrian man-sculpture showed that he could also almost act. His hard luck loner character roams the deserts of a cruel fantasy world filled with spooky sorcery and snake-worshiping cult types. James Earl Jones reprises his role as the voice of Darth Vader, except this time he is an evil high priest with a penchant for snakes and an Ian Asbury haircut. The fact that Oliver Stone and John Milius wrote the screenplay is apparent when Conan and his traveling buddies happen upon evidence that JFK was actually killed by Thulsa Doom with a magical sword. Well, this doesn't really happen, but that's the magic of this film: You can "choose your own adventure." If you are a fan of shiny muscles and bloody decapitation, this is the movie for you. Come taste the baby oil midnight Friday and Saturday at Landmark's Inwood Theatre, 5458 W. Lovers Lane. Visit landmarktheatres.com for details.
Feb. 2-3, 2008